Accepting Gay Relationships As A Parent

Accepting Gay Relationships As A Parent


Once your Child has come out as Gay a massive weight has been lifted.  You as the parent may have suspected something wasn’t quite right and may have seen it coming or the coming out may have come as a complete surprise out of left field. Either way, it is now out in the open.

Your child is now also breathing a huge sigh of relief, the weight from them has also been lifted too.

Now at least with everything out in the open you can begin to move forward and this is where the hard work if often found.  As a Christian Parent, or someone just turning to God for answers this moving forward is perhaps the toughest part.  As a parent you will more than likely be thinking “What did I do wrong?” and that question is common but actually, as  Christian it is a question that need not be asked.

John 9 opens with that very question “As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”” (NIV)  but look at the answer,  The Message Bible sums it up very clearly and in a language we can all understand John 9:3-5 “Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. We need to be energetically at work for the One who sent me here, working while the sun shines. When night falls, the workday is over. For as long as I am in the world, there is plenty of light. I am the world’s Light.”

Homosexuality like blindness is something where as humans we always look for just cause or someone or something to blame. There is no blame and once that is realised accepting your child is gay becomes a little easier. As men we rely too much on ourselves,  what we can and cannot do and always, no matter how hard we try not to, keep looking for an answer in the world around us. We blame society, we blame peers, we blame the internet, blame, blame, blame.

But on closer inspection in the Bible Jesus made little, if any specific mention if homosexuality but everything as sin and this again is helpful in accepting your gay child. We are all sinners, there are no worse sinners than others, just sinners and that is important to understand.  The Pope himself has taken a much more lenient stance towards homosexuality. Time Magazine called Pope Francis’ opinion or stance on Homosexuality the “Statement That Changed the Church”   Pope Francis said “If someone is gay and searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?”

Family counselingThat statement is something that as a parent of a gay child you should cling to.  Just like you are not to blame likewise you cannot change your child.  Pope Francis stated that God does not condemn homosexuals and loves them as much as any other fallen or broken person.  It is clear reference to us all being sinners, and therefore equal Matthew 7:1-3 says “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

When your child came out it was a tough step for them, don’t judge them for it. The natural instinct is perhaps anger or sadness and a period akin to mourning will no doubt follow. But you need to know, there is no one to blame, not your child and not yourself. Don’t judge and don’t allow the judgement of others determine how you move forward. Love is the answer, your love and the love of God, is the absolute way to accept your gay child John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

Coming out was a tough step,  loving will be tougher but will win in the end.

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