If you saw the emotional turmoil portrayed in the movies War of the Roses and Kramer vs. Kramer, you’d probably think twice about divorce. Unhappy individuals who believe that ending their marriage would make them happier are often living a myth.
Chances are, they’ve attributed the failure of their marriage to their spouse. Each one blaming the other, instead of examining themselves.
By failing to accept their own frailties, and not realizing that they’ve entered the marriage with unrealistic expectations, they unconsciously set themselves up for a potential separation.
There’s also the phenomenon of short memories. For some reason, the same individuals who vowed to support each other during their time of wedded bliss have forgotten their commitment and vows to love each other through thick and thin.
Our modern society has indeed become a disposable society. This is what Alvin Toffler predicted almost two decades ago. This state of “disposableness” is reflected in our ability to delete and purge and shred what we no longer need.
And when our once beloved partner is no longer of use to us, we call our lawyer and instruct him/her to initiate divorce proceedings.
Funny, but despite its harrowing and complex web, divorce has also become just a phone call away, a “to go” solution that we can pick up on the way to the cleaners.
Truth is, divorce has an ugly side to it. It’s the easy way out for people who have not an ounce of courage to salvage what deserves to be salvaged.
Divorce un-builds and undoes what took years to nurture, and sadly, often the only people who benefit from it are greedy lawyers who will use every trick in the book to divest the other of assets, until no remnant of the person’s investment – physical, monetary or emotional – remains.
While divorcing couples spend their mental energies accusing the other of causing hurt and disharmony in the union, they forget that the children suffer in double doses. Couples forget that children’s emotions are more fragile and harder to mend. This is when the concept of human selfishness and self-centredness become transparent. It’s odd how the true character of people comes out when they’re the actors in a divorce.
The determination not to be swayed by the lows and downs of a relationship mirrors strength and integrity, not to mention the ability to see beyond one’s personal unhappiness. And by saving a marriage, more than one human being is saved.