“Mom, Dad, just to let you know I am gay” can be the most mortifying words a parent can hear from their child. But it is not the end of the world.
As a Christian Parent the “I’m gay” message can be a tougher pill to swallow. It is written in the bible that God meant for us to have a souse of the opposite sex, it after all Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. But as a Christian parent to a gay child one needs to find comfort in the word of God and also love their child. Disowning the child and making them feel bad about a genuine feeling they have inside is not the right way to go about things.
The first feeling from a parent, other than shock, is perhaps that of guilt or embarrassment and the thoughts of how to tell friends and the rest of the family spring to mind. How to tell your church is another worry all together but God will never lead you where you are not safe and as Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” and this must be considered above all else.
At the end of the day Love and Compassion will win through. When your child confesses to being gay essentially your child is telling you they are a broken person, we are all sinners and we are all broken if we are really honest and the best thing a parent can do is accept this and show as much love and compassion as possible. Don’t tell your child that because they say they are gay that they are now at the very top of the list of sins possible, this is not showing love. Being gay is no less or no more sinful than lust or desire and many of us are guilty of that and thus by call our children sinners makes us hypocrites.
Accepting that your Child is Gay is the first challenge, don’t try and force them to change because it will not work. As a Christian parent your first authority is God and the word, you are not the be all and end all, nor is your family or friends and neither is the church, God is the final authority and as a Christian parent this is essential. God loves your child as much as any other, he knows the matters of the heart and knows exactly where you are, where your child is and what you are going through.
Guilt is the biggest fear, a fear of what others will say and in among all the emotions Guilt is interwoven and yes it will feel bad. But sexual guilt has been shown in the Bible and standing by your child as God will stand by you is the only way to overcome guilt. Joseph on hearing Mary was pregnant was pretty much in the same boat as the parent of a gay Child. Joseph must have felt guilty that his intended his wife was pregnant and he was not the father, the gossip around must have been terrible. But he ignored the gossip and stood by Mary and God took care of the rest.
Christian Parents of gay children will stand by their child, despite the fact that they know that their child is a sinner and they will trust God to pull them through. Even when the gay child ends up in a civil and very happy partnership and it seems like there is not turning away from homosexuality God is still in control and the parent must accept this and love their child. Love is the most important thing, let love from the parent be the light that guides the child, never stop loving and never stop trusting God. The prodigal son returned to his father, what made him return? Love, made him return and nothing else. You can in part accept the fact that your child is gay, it does become easier to cope with at least when you shower him or her with love because if you do not love will you not be just as much a sinner as you child is?
Matt Newnham is a Christian, Writer and Speaker. He is a single father and lives in Cape Town, South Africa. Matt is passionate about life and success and his ability to touch the heart of readers has earned him the title “The Master of Emotional Appeal” Follow Matt on Twitter @MattNewnhamZA and on his Facebook Page https://www.facebook.com/mattwjnewnham