If children don’t get what they want and having exhausted all angles of attack they have a temper tantrum. We have all seen it, in the grocery store, sat in the shopping cart asking for the candy and the parent says no. Pester, pester, pester and the parent still refuses and then the child screams, tears flow and only when the parent gives in does the child stop.
Now take that store scenario to a whole new level. Imagine if that candy in the store was something you felt you had to have, imagine that you are now an adult and you can’t just cry to Mom or Dad. This is the world of an addict where that fix is all they want, the fix itself is calling them and whether it is drugs, drink, gambling or even internet pornography the frustration builds and the temper tantrum brews, only the response is frighteningly different.
The frustration of a fix brews anger to an almost uncontrollable point where fear itself almost disappears and desperation where nothing, no laws, no barriers will prevent that fix from being found is at its highest. Like the incredible hulk waiting to turn green the frustration inside, the voice of the addiction calls louder and the devil on sat on the shoulder speaks loudly saying “yes” even when the angel on the other says “no”. It’s a massive build-up and when a person is addicted it is a cycle, a constant fight and an event that is almost unstoppable until the fix is achieved only to begin all over again once it wears off.
Instead of a crying baby in a shopping cart who can’t have candy in the case of an addict there is a person who will do anything to get what they want. There is no one to say “no” and even if that person says “no” force will come into play to make that “no” a “yes”. The frustration turns to anger and the outcomes are not positive, theft for drugs when the money is not given, smuggling of drink into the staff kitchen, walking out the office all together to head to a bar, borrowing money that will never be paid back or installing software or gaining passwords to bypass technology all happen. The satisfaction of the fix must be met regardless of the consequence and in doing so a whole pile of problems arise but these are not seen or felt by the addict who then uses the addiction to find shelter from the problems. A mess.
The selfish, desperate desire of a fix impacts the lives of others without care or recognition. It is a sad but all so true fact of addiction that when treatment begins is the toughest part for all involved. The deprivation of the fix often leads to anger that is taken out on those trying to help, even when treatment is not being administered for those who are being deprived either intentionally or otherwise the anger boils inside and sometimes to the point where they just snap.
Getting inside the mind of an addict is not a nice place to be. I have been there and had to go there in order to help my brother recover from addiction. The anger was intense, it had to be endured, fists pumped even to the point of me having a bruise or two but it is no more than a child wanting candy, and love and understanding is the only way to remedy they frustration of the fix. The anger and the reactions such as theft, destruction and reckless acts are merely cries for help; the anger is a demonstration of how they feel inside much like the child who wants the candy bar.
Addiction hurts both the addict and those around the addict, there is always an underlying reason for the addiction and getting to know the reason is the first step in being able to help the person. Getting inside the addict is where you need to be and it is not always a nice place to be.